#hatebeingapuss

Sitting here next to my P90X DVD set.  Of course next to that is the equipment that I need to do the required exercises.   I can hear them taunting me. I kinda sucks but I understand that if I stick to it I will get stronger and better equipped to do the routine. Unfortunately I hear the negative more than the positive which only causes me not to want to do it.  I know that my "milkdud" "porkchop" body fights me every second of everyday.  It is really hard when there isn't instant results.  I know I know that in time I will see it.  The truth is I have seen it.  I have noticed a few changes.   However in my selfishness I want someone else see it.  It is such a different feeling when someone else sees things changing for the better.  It is just in my nature that when I hear anything positive changes my motivation.

Kinda the way I feel about my "spiritual" walk.  Most of the time I feel like I am totally blowing it.  However there are moments when I get a "atta boy"!!  I know that my "spiritual" and "physical" life is closely related.  When I feel empowered like I just did a killer workout or when I help a friend through a storm.  I just feel like I am unstoppable!!  Then there are workouts that just kick my anus-cabanus and i feel so flippin weak.  I hate being a puss!!  So the only way not to be a puss is to keep pushing play and stay in the shadow of Jesus.  So here I go!!  They are calling me see ya!!!

Harder to believe than not to

I have read many of the passages in the Bible about how the children of Israel chose to follow other gods and ticked God off.  I read and I have caught myself saying to the pages "Don't you remember what God said?"  It sometimes drives me crazy to read.  In those moments I have wondered what was it like to see God do the things He did.  Like the plagues and the crossing of the Red Sea.  Then days like yesterday happen.  I was having coffee with a friend of mine that I have had since I was in high school.  He asked me a question.  "So what is going on?  Catch me up in the life of chad."  That is when time seemed to stand STOP!!  In that moment God spoke to my heart and here is what He said.  "You have a choice right to shape your future. You can complain or you can worship Me.  Remember 'Obedience is better than sacrifice'.  So how are you gonna answer the question?"  There in that nano second I responded.  "Ok I am not gonna complain.  I gonna remember what You said!"  So then I proceeded to share what God has spoken to me over the past few months.Granted it hurt to talk about some of the stuff but at the center of it all was obedience.  I keep the story of King Saul in my head.  When he chose not to do the thing God told him to do to save face with the people and feed his ego.  It;s easy for me to point out all the stuff that hasn't happened yet but to focus on the promises of what God has for me.  It;s about believing.  It truly is harder to believe than not to.