Has it really been 18 years?

This time of year is really bitter sweet for me.  The reason being that on the 9th back in 93 I was in a horrible car crash.  My friend Brian and I had been out for a joyride but things went very bad very fast.  We flipped several times.  Which twisted the car into a pretzel.  Brian lost his life that night and for some unknown unexplained reason I survived.  I will never forget the aroma of that night.  How cold and how loud everything was then stone silence.  I think back of the events and there was nothing I could have done.  Brian was driving since it was his RX-7 twin turbo.  Then a short two weeks later my little brother crossed over into eternity on the 30th.  Both of them 17 years old with what we call "their whole life ahead of them".  I have had several thousand nightmares about both situations sometimes the bleed into each other.  I know that was one of the most trying times in my faith.  It's the words of my youth pastor the echo in my head every time the crap starts hitting the fan.  After my brothers funeral we were talking and he said "Nothing will be harder than this."   There have been painful moments since then but he was right.  Everything compared to that moment of time have been easier.  For a simple fact that Jesus walks with me.  We (Jesus and I) have a incredible relationship.  Knowing that even though this month is scarred with pain it also holds the moment when I gave my life to Jesus.  After climbing out of the twisted beer can of a car.  I was alone and in that cow field I met Jesus.  I quit drinking, smoking pot, and cigarettes all the same time.  I gave it all to Him.  So here I sit with a wife 3 boys and all the other stuff I never thought I would have.  18 years seems like a eternity.  We talk about moments that are unforgettable and time we cherish.  Well these are two of those times that I will never forget.