#pissingandmoaning

So here it is.  I am done!!  I just gotta pick myself up.  Put my feet on the floor and stand up!   My heart might be broken but I am still called by God.  My wife and our 3 boys are my biggest mission field.  I am called to be a husband and father.  Thank You Jesus for loving me.

#Pickingmyheartoffthefloor

Well here is the day after....All I have is the lyrics to a Showbread song.  "Father my heart is all I have to give to You"  I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest.  A thousand concerns on me.  Like "What now?", "What about the kids in The Asylum?".  It's like I am learning to live all over again.  The past 18 years I have been involved in youth ministry on one level or another.  Now there is this vacancy in me.  I am trying real hard not to snap on people.  Everything from "God has a plan" and "Your still in the ministry".  The thing is I can't put the pieces back together.  I am crushed.  I know it will get better.  I know that I will get used to it.  But I really don't want to.  I feel like the devil won.  So here I go the first day of the rest of my.  Here is to a true kickmeinthecrotchfantastic day!!

Sometimes the answer is NO

I can't believe that I have been so slow to learn.  I am tired of trying to push this boulder up hill.  I have a couple of things to say. Well after eighteen years I need to admit that the answer is NO!  I have come to the end of what I have tried to make happen.  But I have enjoyed the past 10 years of ministry in the P-town area.  So with that being said The Asylum is NOT gonna happen.  Sorry if this disappointing but I have to take care of some personal stuff.  The whole removing the "plank" thing.  So thanks for hanging out but I AM OUT!!

The space between

I know that the hardest time for me is the in between time.  Like when your in the process.  I know that this is where growth takes place.  However that doesn't help me at all.  I mean that I just wanna get things over with.  There have been so many times that I have failed because of my impatience.  This time is different.  This time I have to finish the process.  There is to much at stake.  So Father help me.  I have planned my work now I have work my plan.  So here I go time to finish strong!!

Fresh Air

So after a couple of days from only can be compared to hell.  I had a kickmeinthecrotchfantastic day!!  Thank You Jesus!!!  I am so excited about the future it seems unreal!!  To sit and talk to a pastor and hear the same verbage was like a breath of fresh air.  Thank You Jesus!!  I can't put it any other way other than holy crap!!!  Can't wait for Sunday b/c The Asylum is gonna storm the gates of hell!!

Stupid pen and paper

So I had the most important meeting yesterday.  I flamed out!!!  It couldn't have any worse then if I set myself on fire.  There I was trying to raise money for the asylum and I didn't even have a flippin pen on me!  I couldn't believe how are unprofessional I looked.  All I know is that will never happen again.  I stayed up all night working on my message and developing a mission statement.  That way the next time someone asked me what the asylum is all about I'll b a little bit exactly what were about.  It was incredibly painful yesterday but I learned something.  I have to be ready to instantly give an answer of why is The Asylum exists.

It is what it is

You know how much I want to become the man I was ment to be?  If I think about it to much I just want to cry.  The thing is I know that I am on my way.  Simple obedience sometimes can be the kickmeinthecrotchfantastic moment that I need.  Knowing You is the greatest thing.  I know if I stay in the place of obedience I am right were You want me.  So even if it hurts and even if it is inconvenient I must stand.  So Father here I am to serve You.